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Givers Gain - Explained

Fri 23 March 2012

Having just returned from a trip to Norway where I spoke at the BNI members in Skien, Trondheim and Oslo – I was warmly welcomed and thoroughly enjoyed my seminars with the members. I’ve been particularly touched by the comments left on a blog post about my presentation in Skien – thank you to all the delegates that attended the meeting and I’m so glad that you felt the BNI message was inspiring and thought provoking. You can take a look at the blog post, written by Vidar Top - one of the chapter members, by following this link http://vidartop.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/givers-gain.html#comment-form

The underlying message of the seminar was centred on the BNI term that is universally acknowledged as ‘Givers Gain’. We see it being used a lot when talking about BNI, especially on Twitter. Dr Ivan Misner describes the phrase as ‘growing your business by helping other people.’

I just wanted to take a moment to think about what ‘givers again’ actually means. As Vidar points out in his blog – Robert Cialdini has spoken about the idea of givers gain for years – it’s an unwritten law among humans that says if we give something to someone then we can expect something in return. We naturally feel a need to even the score – described more commonly as ‘reciprocity’.  However, in our experience of truly giving without expecting something in return – what you tend to get back is of even greater quality than if you give with the thought of what your returning benefits might be.

To relate this to BNI and the message I aimed to deliver to the members in Norway. When we interact with people who are driven, ambitious and looking to thrive – inevitably we’ll find that more opportunities come our way. If you set out to help the members of your chapter to find business – business will in fact come your way. Don’t be self centred about your networking because successful networking is about giving to those who need your help – the receiving will come naturally, however -  it shouldn’t be your main reason and goal for helping others. 

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